The British Monarchy is in a state of disarray following an unusual turn of events. 18 month year old Prince George of Cambridge has been reported to have told his parents that he no longer wishes to take the throne when he comes of age. A source close to the palace has confirmed that in a conversation that lasted around 30 seconds, the toddler attempted to reason with his parents. It is reported that the toddler’s main concern is how undemocratic the monarchy is as an institution. He apparently suggested that annual elections should take place to decide the head of state saying, “it is unfair that one should one day be given the role because one has ‘blue blood’ – it’s a farcical and outdated way of doing things.”
It is said that frustrations mounted when both the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge attempted to pick him up off his playmat in an attempt to divert the conversation. In a shocking display, the toddler threw himself to the ground kicking and screaming uncontrollably.
The toddler, who is fourth in line to the throne, was at the time being monitored by parents Kate and Wills when he allegedly threw down his toy crown in a display of protest.
Former butler to the palace and general gossip, Paul Burrell, stressed that this was the first act of royal rebellion in years. “Not since Charles’ attempt to steal Her Majesty’s crown as a toddler has a display of such disdain taken place. I would like to offer my condolences to the royal family at this distressing time and offer my services in disciplining the child.”
Certain members of the palace staff have remarked that George spent the days leading up to the tantrum reading Russel Brand articles online and was caught attempting to order Owen Jones’ latest book on the Royal Credit Card that charges straight to the Bank of England. Brand was unavailable for comment when the scandal broke, but was seen travelling to the Palace the day after and has not been seen since. However, a pair of boots and extremely low cut bloodied v-neck top was found in the rubbish bins outside, whilst the Queen’s official Twitter account posted a photo of Her Majesty wearing jewellery that seemed remarkedly similar to Brand’s with the caption, “One does enjoy one’s new trophies”.
Since the incident, the young prince has not been seen in public. It is thought he is locked in a dungeon somewhere, learning the error of his ways.