So, after the doom and gloom that is the exam period, everyone can look forward to the summer and, for a lot of people, TRAVELLING.
Travelling, the activity that drains yours and your parents bank accounts, it presents an opportunity for you to do things that you can’t do in England… like drinking lots of alcohol and eating fast food at 3am. I’m sure you have places in mind that you’d like to go to (South America, South-East Asia) and I’m sure you have attractions planned that you’d really like to see, but do you REALLY know what you’re getting yourself into? Well, for the sake of this article, lets assume you don’t. Without further ado, here’s my very own free of charge travel guide to all the places you need to know about.
SOUTH-EAST ASIA (BRITS ABROAD):
Great Britain no.2 is a popular choice for anyone wanting to “find themselves” (what bullshit!) by immersing themselves in some local culture: elephant homes, Ping-Pong shows, scorpion cuisine, full moon parties and so much more. Can it get any better? It sure can, you can hire (and crash) motorbikes whilst you’re out there without any experience whatsoever! If you’re looking for a cultured trip then definitely head to Cambodia and Vietnam because the temples are out of this world. If you’re a lad-on-tour, then grab your tank-top, sunglasses, stash of condoms and head down to Koh Phi Phi and other southern islands off Thailand where sex on the beach is not only a “feminine yet popular amongst guys” cocktail but also an activity embraced by everyone.
SOUTH AMERICA (DRUGLYFE)
Llama jumpers, Machu Picchu selfies, cocaine bars, locals on buses carrying boxes of live chickens ;It’s safe to say that America down south has got it all. Start in Argentina and you’ll find cities with enormous plazas and a church in the centre, then, up until Colombia, pretty much every city is exactly the same (turns out the Spanish weren’t fussed about variety all those centuries ago). Along the way you’ll undoubtedly stumble across a beautiful Colombian or Brazilian girl who you’ll inevitably fall in love with causing you to delay your flight home and think to yourself “I bet no traveller has had love like this!”… Just ask any depressed men with “I’m never going to get any better than her” tattooed on their foreheads and they’ll beg to differ.
EUROPE (THIS IS WHY WE’RE IN THE EU)
Europe! The continent that is less than an hour away and a student loan cheaper than Asia or South America, why do we not go here more often?! Grab an Interrail ticket and jump from city to city to capture Europe’s ethereal beauty. Budapest is dead cheap, Paris will make you think, “If only Parisians didn’t live here..” and Prague has a 5-story club along with a strangely high number of cabaret shows. Bounce to Berlin where street art and vibrant nightlife will knock you off your feet; and then amble on to Amsterdam where, well, if you read my last article, you’ll know what to do!
There you have it. A slightly informative and humorous (my fingers are currently crossed) approach to travelling. Here’s a question: do you travel by yourself or with friends? Both. Obviously being with friends will always produce good times but being on your own outside the comfort zone forces you to have new experiences and meet new people, which builds and reveals aspects of your personality thus leading to a sense of “finding yourself”. So, bon voyage, adios, auf widersehen and enjoy your travels!